Difficult Women: Practical Magnetism

7 days ago

4 min read

An exploration of femininity, extravagance, complexity, and detachment from external validation as sources of true magnetism. By Cristal Rivas

Over the past few months, I’ve become fascinated by topics such as magnetism, feminine energy, so-called dark feminine energy, stoicism, and other personal development movements that promise to transform our relationship with the world and bring us closer to everything we desire. I find these topics intriguing; I’ve learned a lot. But the truth is that 15-second tutorials started popping up, teaching how to manipulate through actions, words, and even micro-gestures, those people from whom you want to get something. I know, “Machiavelli is here”.

So I thought, “Okay, this doesn’t manifest attraction,” because even though I’m no expert, according to some philosophies I applied a while back (like the Tao), the poison of attraction is the desire to control the outcome. Attraction isn’t something you push or manipulate; it’s the natural flow of things. Effortless action.

«The brain is drawn to what it doesn’t understand»

There is an intrinsic magnetism in complexity that doesn’t seek to be understood or accepted. The actions of the most memorable women were seemingly irrational, and paradoxically, that disinterest in being understood turned out to be the reason their presence was etched into our memory… and history.

Cleopatra dissolved a costly pearl from one of her earrings in a glass of vinegar and drank it to win a bet against Mark Antony over who could host the most expensive dinner in history.

Billie Holiday singing “Strange Fruit” in bars for white people.

Etta James screaming passionately at civil rights marches, playing the piano with that same intensity.

Cirse, with its zoo—literally full of lovers.

Walking into the Cartier jewelry store in Paris, a beautiful Mexican woman with a warm brown complexion carries a baby crocodile in her arms. She places the little reptile on the counter and asks for an identical replica in the form of a piece of jewelry. Demanding and resolute as Maria Felix was, she concludes by saying, “But hurry, it’s growing.” To this day, the design remains a historic piece in Cartier’s collection and consists of two crocodiles. One in white gold and one in yellow gold—set with 1,023 yellow diamonds, 1,060 emeralds, and two cabochon rubies serving as eyes.

An American woman, blonde and big-eyed—shrugs her shoulders, folds her arms across her chest, and appeals to the innocence in her eyes, whispering like a spell with her lips, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” to the most powerful man in the world—who's also married. Wearing the so-called “Naked Dress” with 2,500 interwoven crystals, Marilyn Monroe teases and relishes the discomfort and lust of the live and media audiences. There is talk of an alter ego responsible for this ease and boundless confidence, which shapes her facial expressions. In contrast, a 14-year-old Nazarene girl finds herself in the early stages of her betrothal when she receives this surreal prophecy: Though still a virgin, her womb has been chosen to be impregnated by the Holy Spirit of God, to bear the savior of the world. In addition to this, the message is delivered by an angel whoever appears to her, she trusts her own instincts knowing full well that she could be stoned to death. We already know the rest of the story. The Virgin Mary eventually gains status, until she becomes the only female figure in the traditional church who is not only named but also venerated.

«Before we continue…»

I’d like to place you in my corner—one that doesn’t try to usurp a voice or feign a stance. I’ve had a lifelong fascination with these kinds of women and archetypes. But I must say that my perception has changed over time; my understanding of femininity used to be a bit more shallow, perhaps more predictable. Desiring, feeling, or contradicting oneself were, in my view, sources of guilt. Because enjoyment, extravagance, and power—when embodied by a woman—are almost a sin, a form of vanity, and a cause for shame.

I am a woman who grew up in a traditional, religious, and humble Mexican family. We didn’t read much, but we sang and prayed often. Rarely did anyone in my family earn a college degree, and when it happened, it was like a family medal. In that setting, I never got to wear a jewel of my own. Over time, I came to question, write, and study. I study out of curiosity and impulse. In the lonely hours of the night —and I must say, my writing is not an extension of my ethos; it’s visceral. There’s a lot of contradictions and discomfort.

«How could you not long for the sea? If its beauty is so terribly unpredictable»

They say that before an earthquake, the ocean’s waves recede toward the center. Like a deep breath before chaos, as if the sea wished not to run wild, as if it wanted to restrain itself, but then suddenly it strikes with force. It destroys everything: houses, plants, people, lives—and then it calms down. It returns to its rhythm, and no one judges it. Even with its turbulent seasons, you don’t try to change the sea, you don’t try to contain it—but you have no choice; you accept it and adapt.

«Perhaps the womb governs everything, and we don’t connect with its power»

According to Reiki, the root chakra is located at the base of the spine. In traditional cultures of Africa, the Middle East, and Polynesia, pelvic and hip movement isn’t purely recreational or for show—it represents a sacred act and a connection to Mother Earth. I’m not going to simplify the way to connect with our contradictions and complexity by saying that dance or Reiki will do it for you, but I do believe you can’t seek attraction through manipulation—femininity is inherently magnetic when you embody it.

Make your life an unpredictable experience. It’s not the movement of your hips that makes you attractive, nor your learned micro-gestures; it’s your fearless complexity. Do what you feel without over-explaining, setting limits, or talking about your real desires—from a diamond-encrusted crocodile to an exclusive romantic relationship.

For the first time, I want to embrace my complexity without fear of how illogical the result may seem. I’d like my self-narrative to be more interesting, with plot twists, authentic, and hopefully, more magnetic.